We love the McCrarys!

Last night we spent the night in Collierville just outside of Memphis at the home of Dave and Ashley McCrary. I love this family so much that whenever I talk about the impact they have had on my life I get choked up. Seriously. 

Todd did his medical residency at UAB in Birmingham. When we moved there our kids were 2, 3 and 5 and we didn't know a single person in town. The first Sunday after we moved there we went to church and then lunch. We didn't know our way around town but we had seen a Red Lobster so we just went there. 

To make this story very short, we saw another family at the restaurant with kids our kids' ages, and they were dressed up so I figured they they had just been to church. I told them we just moved there and we were wondering what church they went to. They told us the name of the church and then invited us over for dinner that night. They were our best friends from that day on. That cute family was the McCrarys. 

The McCrarys moved to Collierville not long after we moved back to Tulsa. When I realized we were passing through there, I thought it would make a perfect pit stop. As you saw in the last post, they made it a very special time for the boys. And they took such good care of me since I was barely getting around due to my back. 

When we woke up this morning, Ashley had made a big breakfast for us, then they sent us off with hugs and well wishes:

We checked into our hotel and went straight to Zac and Jennifer Maloy's house. It was so fun to see Jennifer and meet Zac and their two handsome sons, Ben and Jude. 

The studio is actually in the house so the guys went up there to hammer out some things with their songs and basically have a pre-recording meeting:

Jennifer made dinner for us and then the band and the Maloy kids made s'mores. 

Tomorrow the entire day is dedicated to recording the drum track, so it's Aaron's big day. Pretty exciting. 

Today my back was a smidgen better. Still uncomfortable but can get around a little better. 

I've written these last few posts on my iPhone late at night so they are not that great but I wanted to keep everyone updated on what's going on. I should have lots of free time once the guys start recording. Can't wait to see what that's like! 

Made it to Memphis

I left this morning with Josh, Andrew B. and Aaron. Andrew E. was leaving from Florida today and we planned to get him in Memphis when our paths crossed there. We left at 9:00am exactly as we had hoped with just one little (big for me) hiccup.

This morning my back got out of whack. What was I doing to make that happen? Nothing. Except being 41 years old, I guess. Moms, if you were getting ready to leave for a week, what would you be doing the morning you left? Maybe getting every last dish in the dishwasher and and every last piece of laundry washed. So I was scooping laundry detergent out of the box. That's all. And I've barely been able to walk since then. I'm sure getting in the car to drive six hours immediately after it happened was no help either.

Here we are about to pull out of the driveway. Can you tell I can't even stand up straight?

And a car full of instruments. We had to put our bags in a luggage carrier on the top of the car which is a real drag, literally and figuratively. 

Once we got to Memphis we toured the Gibson Guitar Factory:

Then we met up with our friends at the world famous Rendezvous barbecue restaurant. 

My friend Ashley told our waiter why we were passing through town so then he wanted a picture with the band. He said he wanted them to send him a framed autographed copy of the picture; which then prompted the table of people next to us to ask how they could look them up on the Internet:

As if that didn't feel rock star enough, my friend Ashley (whose house we are staying at tonight) had called me a few days ago to ask what each person's favorite snacks and drinks are so she could have a real rock star "green room" ready for them. So, so fun. 

I think the boys are already having the time of their lives. I'm trying really hard to not let this back pain steal my joy, but I gotta tell ya, I'm pretty bummed. Please say a prayer that it will be better tomorrow!

When we get to Nashville tomorrow (Sunday) we are supposed to go straight to Zac's house for some pre-recording meetings including deciding which five songs will be on the CD. Josh wrote a new song on Thursday when he was procrastinating from doing his summer reading. When Andrew B. got to our house that evening he added some lyrics and boom, a new song is now in the running. I really like it too. Yay for summer reading being so bad it drives you to go write a song instead read your book! :)

Serendipity Times Two

The way God works is fascinating. We would never be making this trip to Nashville if it weren't for Stuart Singleton. Kind of a round about way to get there, but we'll take it. Now, there is another very important thread to this story, but I wasn't sure how to weave it in yet so we'll try here. We'll have to backtrack a bit though. 

Around Christmas time, my nephew Andrew was talking about coming to live in Tulsa this summer with his grandparents (Todd's parents).  He is from Kansas City and was a freshman at Mizzou.  He thought it might be fun to spend a summer with all of his extended family in here.

We loved the idea. Let me tell you a little bit about this extraordinary young man. Andrew Beasley is brilliant. He is a National Merit Scholar, and he was recently chosen as one of the Top Fourteen Freshman at the University of Missouri. You might not realize how smart he is though because he is just so normal and relateable. He is thoughtful and unselfish, flexible and easy going, and he keeps us laughing all the time.

And guess what else.....he is musically talented. Yep, pretty much the perfect kid. And pretty much the perfect addition to The Tandems.

Andrew got an internship downtown and basically lived with us this summer. When he got to Tulsa, we were in the Stuart Singleton stage, so he has been a part of the dreaming and planning since May. He has been a wonderful addition to the band and, once again, I'm in awe of the way it has all come together.

Serendipity

Okay folks, I'm going to have to crank this one out fast because it is 10:00pm and we leave in the morning. Woohoo!

So, the boys had put their songs on a CD that they passed around town at potential gig sites and they also got it posted on websites such as itunes, spotify and reverbnation. One day this past spring Josh came in and said that someone had contacted them through their reverbnation account and he told them he really liked their songs he heard online. He even said he wanted to talk to them about coming to Nashville to record their music. Of course Josh was super excited, but I saw red flags all over the place.

I'm going to be brutally honest here. I think this band is good, but it is my son and I'm just a wee bit biased. I think they are good for a garage band. Who had been together for three months. In Tulsa, Oklahoma. Get my drift? :) I tried to diffuse Josh's excitement a bit by pointing out that it doesn't really happen that way. Really talented people work really hard to break into the music scene in Nashville and still never make it. I told Josh that was very flattering but this whole scenario was way too easy. 

The guy who contacted them said he had just started his own record label called Mattress House Music and he was the CEO. His name was Stuart Singleton. Josh and Stuart communicated back and forth for several weeks until finally the entire band got together to have a conference call with him. When they finished the call they came in and told me he had sent them a contract and they needed to find a time to go record this summer. They had one foot out the door.

At this point, I knew I needed to get a little more involved. This was a very difficult line for me to walk. I want to do anything and everything I can to make my kids' dreams come true, but I also needed to be the voice of reason and reality. I knew we needed to make an educated decision about this, but I didn't know how to get educated about it. I approached it from three different angles.

The first was to send the contract to a lawyer friend of mine for him to look over. The second was to contact anyone I knew who knew anything about the music industry, and the third was to google Stuart Singleton and Mattress House Music. I got to work.

My lawyer friend called me after he looked at the contract and said it was pretty typical, but you were basically giving up control of your music, your band, your scheduling, etc. He said some people would do anything to get a contract like that but he couldn't recommend it, especially for high school kids. Strike one.

Next step was to talk to people in the music industry. That was a little harder because I don't really know anyone in the music industry. I was talking to a friend of mine, Linda West, about this and she reminded me that a friend of mine from high school was married to someone in the music business. Jennifer Doss was in Todd's grade at Edison and I was good friends with her in high school. Her husband is Zac Maloy, who was the lead singer for The Nixons, but now they live in Nashville where he does mostly songwriting. 

I emailed Jennifer and asked her if she would ask Zac if he knew who Stuart Singleton was and what would he recommend we do in this situation. She emailed right back and said she would have him call me when he got home that day. Zac was so kind to visit with me for a while and he basically said to just be sure what you are getting into and trust your insincts. Since he didn't give the idea a resounding yes, I considered that a strike two.

The most interesting information I found out was what I learned when I googled Stuart Singleton. It took a lot of digging, but I finally found out a huge factor of this equation. Stuart Singleton, the CEO of Mattress House Music, was 18 years old. He turned 18 in March and started his label the next day. Okay, so this is starting to make a little more sense now. This information might have put the kabosh on the whole thing right there except for one intriguing thing.

The reason I found out Stuart was 18 is because his birth was announced in the April 1995 edition of Billboard magazine. Why, you ask? Because his father was Shelby Singleton who owned Sun Records from 1969 until his death in 2009 of cancer. This is the record label that launched Elvis. After his death, Shelby Singleton was honored at the 2010 Grammys. That was a game changer. Maybe this was something we should consider.

To make a long story short, I talked to Stuart, I talked to the lawyer again, I talked to the band parents, and no one felt really great about the whole situation. The main drawback was having to sign a legal contract. We all decided it was probably not the best scenario.

Once we made that decision, I could sense how let down the guys were. I felt so bad for them. Their dream was in sight and then we had to tell them no. I was right there with them. I've been "riding tandem" with these kids all the way and so their dream has become my dream for them too. 

I thought this through for several weeks and the conclusion I came to was that these boys didn't care about making money on their music or being promoted or any of the things that Stuart was offering with his services. I knew really all they wanted to do was to get to Nashville, get to experience the real recording process and come home with a CD that was a better quality than what they were making in the garage. They just wanted to live their dream on the ultimate Nashville road trip.

Figuring I had isolated their basic desires, I decided to email Zac again with my new idea. What if we just made a road trip to Nashville and paid for them to record in a real studio? Where would we do that and how much would it cost? Zac called me that evening with a proposal that I had no idea was even a possibility.

Zac proceeded to tell me that when they moved to Nashville they bought a house that included a recording studio in the home. The guy who lived there before them had used that studio to record people like Keith Urban and Rascal Flatts. He said he would love for them to come and spend a week with him and he would mentor and record them. 

I knew a little bit about Zac, but after I got off the phone with him I looked at his website to learn a little more about him. Here is what I found on his website:

Zac Maloy is an acclaimed, award-winning songwriter and producer whose songs have been featured on numerous top-charting albums. Born and raised in Ada Oklahoma, Zac began playing music at a very young age. After graduating high school Zac formed a band, The Nixons, while attending the University of Oklahoma.  After playing hundreds of local shows they decided to tour regionally, then across the country. Several radio stations began playing the band’s indie album which led to offers from multiple record labels.  The band inked a deal and released three albums on MCA/Universal Records.  Their first album, Foma, scored Rock hits  "Wire" and "Happy Song."  Their 3rd single from Foma, "Sister,” reached the top of the Rock charts and eventually crossed over to Top-40 with heavy rotation on MTV. The success from Foma paved the way for several more chart toppers, including the Rock hit “Baton Rouge” and Zac's solo release "Early Morning Phone Call."   The Nixons toured relentlessly and quickly developed a reputation as one of the hardest working bands of their genre, completing worldwide tours with Radiohead, Soul Asylum, No Doubt, Kiss and Bush. 

Once The Nixons went on hiatus, Zac began writing and producing for other artists. After writing for and producing several rock projects, Zac signed a publishing deal with Sony/ATV and decided to take writing more seriously.  Sony tapped Zac as a writer in large part because of his unique ability, as a former artist, to relate to artists out there living the life Zac knew well. One of his first cuts after signing to Sony was "Used To" on Daughtry's eponymous first album, which has gone five-times platinum worldwide. This opened the door for Zac to score singles in a range of genres, including Carrie Underwood's # 1 Country single "Temporary Home," Cavo's Top-5 Rock single "Crash," David Cook's Top-5 single "Come Back to Me," and Black Stone Cherry's Top-5 Rock single "White Trash Millionaire." This success solidified Zac’s move into the songwriting world and prompted a relocation from Oklahoma to Nashville, TN. Now viewed as a multi-faceted writer, Zac is called upon to write a wide variety of music from Underwood to Orianthi; Adam Lambert to Shinedown; Michelle Branch to Blake Shelton.
 
Earlier this year Zac signed with Warner Chappell publishing.  He currently resides in Nashville, TN, where he continues to collaborate with various artists and songwriters in his Forest Hills studio. Zac co-wrote the current singles for Barenaked Ladies, "Boomerang" and Skillet, "American Noise," which is currently Top-5 and climbing.

Zac had said for us to all talk about it and decide, but to let him know as soon as possible because if we were coming he wanted to start working with their music right away. After I saw his website, it was hard not to call him back right then and say, "Um, YES!!" The only thing holding me back was that it is very expensive to record a CD like this. We were going to have to brainstorm creative ways to make this possible if it was something the boys really wanted to do. 

I'll go into more detail more later about telling Todd and the guys about this incredible opportunity, but I've got to go to bed so I can drive this band to Memphis tomorrow! We are going to meet some good friends on Beale Street to hang out, eat dinner and then spend the night at their house. The adventure is about to begin!!

Looking for Magic

Josh spent the next year (10th grade) "jamming" with different people and trying to find that magical combination. To be honest, I don't really know much about this time. I saw lots of different people come and go out of that band room, but nothing really gelled I guess. The group that stuck together the longest actually went to audition for "America's Got Talent" in St. Louis and they did pretty well there. 

I wasn't the one who took them, so I don't know many details except that they got called back for a second audition the next day. I think there is a judge named Nigel who really liked them and was talking them up to the other judges. When the band went back the next day they were escorted past a long snaking line into a special holding room. They said it was probably the closest they will ever be to feeling like real rock stars. Alas, they did not get called back to the next level. 

In November of Josh's junior year, he connected with a guy named Andrew Eaton-Clark who was in his grade at Booker T. Our family actually knew Andrew fairly well already because he had been on Luke's club soccer team and we carpooled with him. I was used to seeing him hanging out with Luke and wearing a soccer uniform; it was strange to now see him hanging out with Josh and holding a guitar. We couldn't be more thrilled though. He is a great kid.

After a couple of months, a new guy from Josh's school started showing up. Josh introduced him to me as Aaron Hockett. The wheels in my brain started turning. Hockett.....Hockett.....Oh! Hockett!! "Is your dad a TU professor?" I asked. I take classes at TU every now and then for fun. Three years prior I took an American Government class and Dr. Hockett was my teacher. I remember him talking about his kids to our class, and back then I connected that both of our boys were in 8th grade (at different schools) and would be freshmen together the next year. I remember wondering then if our paths would ever cross at school events or if our kids would be friends. Funny now here we are a few years later and I'm taking his son to Nashville. Life can be so crazy!

It is also interesting to note that Josh had his first knee injury while I was taking this class. I remember telling Dr. Hockett that I was going to have to miss class one day because my son was having surgery. Isn't it bizarre to think that that very knee surgery would one day have a ripple effect that would ultimately ripple it's way to his house. I love mulling over deep thoughts like that.

Now we are to January of this year. It was immediately clear that these three guys were clicking. One thing I took note of right away was how quickly they were churning out original songs. And this was in the middle of a very busy school year. I was also a little bit surprised by how much I liked their music.

They tried on a few different band names but finally settled on The Tandems. Once again, I don't know how or why they chose The Tandems, but I'm learning that I'm not really supposed to know the origin or meaning of band names. Or song lyrics for that matter. Apparently they need to maintain an air of mysteriousness about themselves in order to be true musicians. 
 
The guys used a computer software program to record a demo CD of their songs to pass out around town along with "The Tandems" business cards, and they put their music on websites such as itunes, spotify and reverbnation. One of these avenues is what led them down the path to Nashville....

 

Pictures

My computer wasn't working when I started the blog and I couldn't upload some of the pictures I wanted to, so I'll catch up a little bit now. 

Remember how I said Josh was born an athlete?

 Here he is doing push-ups at 6 months old:

 Just kidding. He was trying to crawl here. 

I don't know how we managed to catch him at this moment, but isn't that hilarious??

Remember how I said Josh wore football uniforms ALL THE TIME? And if I wouldn't let him wear it he would carry his helmet around with him:

He even slept with balls and had soccer sheets:

Here he is watching Monday Night Football:

 I think you get the idea.

Here are some pictures of Josh (#22)

playing Quarterback for Edison:

Here are my boys going through their awkward stage with long hair and a puppy in their pocket. That doesn't pertain to anything whatsoever but it is pretty darn funny.

Here is Josh running the flag for the Varsity team his freshman year at BTW:

When Josh's Freshman season was over he continued to practice with the Varsity team. This allowed him to suit up and be on the sidelines for the state championship game that was played at OSU's Boone Pickens stadium. BTW won! State Champs!

Here are some more cute pictures I found of the 7th & Boulder band:

Here is the detached garage and the band room upstairs:

Alrighty, that should get you up to speed. On with the story....

Learning Life Lessons

I've never really had a blog like this before, but I imagine every blogger gets to this point in their story......where they figure they can just skip that part. You know, that part that isn't quite as neat and tidy as you would like it to be. That part that if you just skipped it no one would know the difference and it would be much easier anyway. But blogs shouldn't be that way I think. Blogs should be the real deal. Authentic. Transparent. Even humbling at times. I mean, this here is my real life, people. Not my "facebook life", if you know what I mean. If I'm going to write a blog, I'm all in. So I forge ahead bravely....

The success 7th & Boulder enjoyed at the Battle of the Bands really fueled the fire of Josh's new-found passion for music and performing. That was good and bad. The part that was good, and even somewhat healing, was watching Josh create and embrace a new identity apart from being an athlete. It seemed to me that there was even a small and shocking possibility that he was enjoying this more than he did playing sports.

The bad part was that I sensed maybe his drive and ambition were surpassing that of his band mates. This was evidenced by the fact that he was growing frustrated when the other guys' ability or commitment level wasn't what he hoped for. I watched this from afar and tried to figure out a way to give him wise counsel without getting too involved. I thought this through for a long time and finally shared my observations with Josh, which were:

These guys were best friends first who then decided to form a band for fun. It was nobody's "main thing" -- except for Josh. Many times the other guys couldn't practice because they all played sports; they were very involved and committed to baseball, football, basketball and golf. That made it hard on Josh for two reasons: not only were they often busy, but they were off doing what he couldn't do anymore. 

I also thought Josh's desire to push the band to new levels of "greatness" was about to push them away. As a parent, when you see these things unfolding, what do you do? I wanted Josh to have the opportunity to move to a different level if that's the direction he was going in, but this was undoubtedly a sticky situation. 

I prayerfully considered the best way to move forward, and I kept coming back to the fact that they were friends first, band second. Friends first, band second. I could see this band was never going to be what Josh wanted it to be...what it was never meant to be. The friendships needed to stay intact above all else.

Finally, after much thought and with great confidence, I presented my advice to Josh: Josh, these are your best friends and you just happened to become a band. What I think you need to do at this point is form a band that you just happen to become friends. That way, the band is started with the talent and commitment level in mind, the expectations are set and agreed on from the beginning, and then your band can be your band and your friends can be your friends.

He agreed. In no time at all he was contacting people who he knew were great musicians and asking them if they wanted to start a band together. Once again, I tried to stay well aware of how everything was developing without meddling. Josh assured me that all was well. 

After a few months, I started to wonder if that truly was the case. Just things I picked up on here and there prompted me to touch base with a few of the parents. I soon came to understand that Josh had not fully communicated his desire and intentions to the 7th & Boulder band. They all knew the band had pretty much run its course, but Josh should have been more upfront with them about what he was doing. I understand...he was a 16-year-old kid who wanted to avoid conflict at all costs. But these are life skills that need to be learned, and he had to learn this one the hard way. 

Coming to the realization that we had not made a super smooth transition between bands was pretty hard on me. I especially felt responsible since it was all my idea. I started to doubt my wisdom and ability as a parent and I wondered regretfully if I had led Josh astray. I still don't know the answers to these questions.

Once Josh finally did start communicating, almost everyone involved was very kind, gracious, understanding and supportive of Josh. The "almost everyone" part is what still bothers me a little to this day. But what more could we do? Josh even withdrew money from his savings account so he could pay each person for their portion of the equipment they had all bought together with their snow shoveling money. I have seen a few of the guys at some of Josh's  recent shows and that really means a lot to us. From what I can tell, they are all still good friends. But as you can see from this post, what do I know?

Even still, the 7th & Boulder years were really quite magical for many reasons. This band gave Josh a hope and a purpose during a very dark time of his life. The pure, innocent, productive fun these six amazing guys had together is the kind of thing every parent wishes for their child. And the fact that Todd and I had the honor of hosting them in our home for hours and days and years on end is a privilege we will always be grateful for. I know you can't expect teenage boys to show warm fuzzies and be sentimental and all that, but my heartfelt prayer is that when these guys grow up and look back on this time, I really hope they feel the same way.